I
have a friend that I think quite highly of. He’s younger than I am, although
not by many years. He’s been through bumps with churches and family, and spent
some time in the wilderness. But he is gentle, and kind, with a loving,
Christ-like heart.
When
the Supreme Court decision on same-sex marriage was handed down in June, my
friend went ballistic, but not for the reason you might think. He supported the
decision. What he went ballistic over, even before much had been said, was
where he thought the evangelical church was going wrong in its reaction. There
hadn’t been much time for the evangelical church to do or say anything, but it
was his expectation that suddenly turned this kind, gentle, Christ-like heart
into a ranting, raving, almost irrational person, filled with anger and venom.
I
was stunned. I’m a part of the evangelical church he was ranting against. The decision
went the way he wanted it to go, and he was filled with anger at the “side” which
seemed to have “lost.” As that “side” responded, his anger increased. I could
barely stand to read his words on Facebook. He was spending hour upon hour
looking for commentary to attack evangelicals, and, of course, he found it. He
almost gleefully posted link after link.
I
read each of the stories he linked to, not because I wanted to argue or
disagree, but because I tried to understand what my friend’s motivation was.
Generally, he posted links to people who were responding much like he was – Christian
supporters of the decision who were furious with the evangelical church.
I
don’t know what happened to my friend’s loving, kind heart. I believe it’s
still there, but right now it's submerged under a sea of anger. I suspect I know what’s
going on, but it would not be productive to talk with him right now, and
possibly not for some time to come.
So
what I do is pray, pray for him, pray that his anger cools, pray that his
Christ-like heart resurfaces and the love for which he’s known becomes apparent
again.
The
court’s decision was both an ending and a beginning, for all of us. In some significant
ways, this decision was different from previous watershed decisions, like Roe
v. Wade. This one is a game-changer in ways that we can’t fully comprehend yet.
The decision wasn’t, or shouldn’t have been, a surprise to anyone.
What
lies ahead is the tough work of the church figuring out what to do as a result.
In
The
Hiding Place, Corrie Ten Boom tells the story of Karel, the young man
she fell in love with at age 14. Her love for him, which was eventually
returned, lasted until she was 21. And then one day he introduces her to his fiancée,
devastating her. His family wanted him to marry well, and he knew that the
daughter of a watch shop owner was not the definition of “marrying well.”
What
she believed about the relationship turned out to be untrue. She had somewhat deceiving
herself, ignoring the signs that something was different, that something was
wrong.
In
the midst of her devastation, her father gives her some words: “Corrie, do you
know what hurts so very much? It’s love. Love is the strongest force in the world,
and when it is blocked that means pain. There are two things we can do when
this happens. We can kill the love so that it stops hurting. Then of course
part of us dies, too. Or we can ask God to open up another route for that love
to travel…Whenever we cannot love in the human way, Corrie, God can give us the
perfect way.”
And
that’s my prayer for me regarding my friend – that God will open up another
route for that love to travel.
Led
by Jason Stasyszen and Sarah Salter, we’ve been reading and discussing The Hiding Place. For more posts on this
chapter, “Karel,” please visit Sarah at LivingBetween the Lines.
Photograph by Jon Luty via Public
Domain Pictures. Used with permission.
And this is one side of the reasoning, Glynn: "It’s love. Love is the strongest force in the world, and when it is blocked that means pain. There are two things we can do when this happens. We can kill the love so that it stops hurting. Then of course part of us dies, too"....that when people are in love, it is not fair for Evangelicals (or anyone)to ask the gay community to block the strongest force in the world, because that would mean pain . . . it would not be fair to ask them to kill a part of themselves so that they can kill love in order to stop hurting. But what if, to quote ten Boom's father: "We can ask God to open up another route for that love to travel…Whenever we cannot love in the human way, God can give us the perfect way.” Is it impossible for God to open up another way? I hope you and your friend are able to find a way to communicate amicably, in love.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for your struggle on this issue, but I appreciate your looking for love in the midst of it. The same search for a way to demonstrate and offer divine perfect love is important for Evangelicals and the LGBT community as well. Our love doesn't always win, but His certainly does. Thanks so much, Glynn.
ReplyDeleteAnd Glynn, I didn't say it here in my earlier post, but have elsewhere on other blogs and FB, so I didn't think to repeat it, but certainly, whatever one's views on whatever the topic, Christians should always respond graciously, in a loving way, exhibiting the love, compassion, and kindness of Christ.
ReplyDelete