Monday, April 19, 2010

No One Ever Told Me

Is there such a thing?
Is there a way to control my
self, my desires, my
inclinations, my thoughts,
my actions?
Is it possible to bring
discipline and order to this
chaos of a soul, this being, this
person? Even if there were,
why would I want to do this?

I like the chaos. I am chaos, and
I’m loving it. Gratify me.
You’re talking a strait-jacket,
right? Like a rope tightening around
my heart , binding me,
or a coffin-like box to
empty my mind into. Or some
nasty diet I use to
self-flagellate myself into
self-control.

Not me, baby, not me. Ain’t
natural, ain’t normal. It’s about
my wants, my urges, my needs, my
power. Period. End of discussion.
Congress gets it; why not you?
A good thing?
Right. If self-control’s not about me,
then who?
It’s always all about me.
Just ask my self-esteem.

What? Not me? Others? What?
I control myself to
let others live?
I submit myself to
let others be free?

No one ever said such foolishness.
No one ever told me such foolishness.
Before.

I never thought it would simply
be an invitation to accept,
a question to answer yes,
a decision to surrender
what did not matter anyway, really.

No one ever said this.
No one ever told me this.
Before.

(To see other posts on self-control, visit the One Word Blog Carnival over at Bridget Chumbley's place.)

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

good
good
good

Anonymous said...

Hi Glynn, absolutely brilliant and would work so well in my darkened series - I'm jealous I wish I'd written it. Pete

Anne Lang Bundy said...

I control myself to
let others live?


Wow. I trust you don't mind that I deleted the question mark when jotting this down on the slip of paper I just taped at my desk.

Jeff Jordan said...

"A decision to surrender what did not matter anyway."

Truth so very well said...

Russell Holloway said...

I could hear the bongos in the background on this one ... :-)

Louise Gallagher said...

Brilliant.

really really like it.

Maureen said...

Many excellent lines in this poem, Glynn. I like how you use vernacular, how the narrator has an excuse for everything so that even when pushing against being about "me" the poem is always about "me". The ultimate excuse.

Kathleen Overby said...

Satirical poetry. Yes.

Unknown said...

"Congress gets it" - this line made me laugh. "I submit myself to let others be free?" - this line stopped me. My submission could let others be free. Going to write this in my journal. Enjoyed this a lot.

Billy Coffey said...

Wow, Glynn. This one had me laughing and pondering all at the same time.

S. Etole said...

thinking "wow, wow, wow," too ...

Kevin said...

Very powerful Glynn!

Duane Scott said...

Glynn, lots of good thoughts!!!

Anonymous said...

and what we gain is so much sweeter than what we lose.

katdish said...

Loved this post. (Even though I am picturing you in a smoky beatnik bar wearing a black beret and reciting it while snapping your fingers.)

Unknown said...

"Snapping my fingers" Excellent poem bro'

Peace,
Jay

Mari-Anna Frangén Stålnacke said...

Excellent! Thank you for sharing! Blessings!

jasonS said...

Just great, Glynn. I loved this one!

Linda said...

Perfect Glynn. This paradox - this surrendering to find freedom. We struggle so against it, and it is really just exactly what we need.

Anonymous said...

It’s always all about me.
Just ask my self-esteem.

Wow! Great thoughts, Glynn. Thanks!

Kelly Sauer said...

"I control myself to
let others live?
I submit myself to
let others be free?"

This speaks deep to me right now. I can't say how yet. But it goes deep.

caryjo said...

One of you comments is something I've been pushing for some time: the self-esteem vs. self-control. What days we live in! Thank you.