Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Caught, Asked, Given
Caught in a confusion
of brambles,
entrapped by vines
and thickness of branches,
choked by leaves
and ugly brown shoots.
Asked for clarity,
for sharpness,
for stiletto-like slicing
through overwrought,
overworked complexity,
massive artificiality.
Given a silver goblet;
told to drink.
This poem is submitted for One Shot Wednesday at One Stop Poetry. To see the other poems submitted, please visit the site. The links will be live at 4 p.m. central today.
Photograph: Underbrush by Peter Griffin via Public Domain Pictures. Used with permission.
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One Stop Poetry,
Poetry
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40 comments:
Very vivid words Glynn. Really enjoyed it.
Great visual....Love it!
Massive artificiality. Oh how that is realed amidst the confusion. It happens way too often.
Just to let you know where I'm at in my life. While I was reading this I was thinking, "I need a machete" - and then you propose the goblet. Man, you take all the fun out of my visual!
As usual, great verse friend!
I felt like I just went on a small adventure! Marvelous!
I talked with my baby brother this weekend about prayer. He is slowly making His way back to faith. He said he prays for clarity. This sums it up so beautifully Glynn. I must send it to him.
Those first two stanzas describe so many experiences in our daily lives. . . and then those two concluding lines just show us a way through it all.
Have you been eavesdropping on my life lately?
I think I had reached the wrong conclusion at the ending ...
Oooo I love the feeling of being caught in this mysterious mire.
Wow this one pulls the reader in...
Thanks for the One Shot and the support of each of us
Moonie smiles
drink deep and i imagine you will see your way...nicely done and apropo for me...
Very vivid Glynn, I was caught up in the brambles. I'd hand you a machete, but the vines have my legs!
Life can overwhelm you...
Forget the Machete'..Get a Chainsaw!
:)
Great one...So much said in the imagery. Brilliant Shot
Glynn this is profound and brilliant!
Something quite Zen, mystical, in the not-answer that is an answer. Thoughtful, balanced and in it's own way, quite comforting.
Sounds as if you already drank deeply to gain the clarity you wish. Excellent.
mysterious and surprising ending...or beginning perhaps?
Cool - my type of poetry.
Enjoyed! Well written lines. The words in tandem with the picture create such a cool combination of visuals, for instance "for stiletto-like slicing." Unexpected ending. Thought-provoking final image.
Strong poem. In particular I love the tension of the first stanza and also the interesting twist at the end
Symbolic journey fraught with dangers cleansed by the blood. Good write. Liked it.
Vivid on-rush of tense reflection - in conjunction with the picture, it provokes this rising sensation of being trapped, being fenned in. Interesting ending, too - drink deep, will we find escape in it, or just more of the routine? Very thoughtful!
Very well written Glynn. I felt I was there as many times all of us are. I like how you tied everything together in the end.
Very good use of symbols here and much like my poem this week, I think good for Advent. Your brambles and woven vines seemed to foreshadow the crown of thorns, the sharp pain and gave way to the superficial overlay that the season has become. Communion in the end and the whole film / book of The Silver Chalice. Good one. Thanks, Gay @beachanny
Love the symbolism of the goblet - that saving grail in a world of brambles and confusion....nice one shot Glynn...bkm
The goblet is such a lovely symbol. This was a lively poem - I enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing.
Glynn, I've been offered that goblet so many times, yet more often I've shoved it aside to continue bushwhacking to no end...only to come back thirsty for that goblet. :) Very good.
a thought provoking write full of vivid imagery -- for me, that last line brings all the thoughts to a culmination… Very nicely done.
Glynn, as always a pleasure. Nice one shot. Love and Light, Sender
What a thought...outstanding.
Cheers!
Found you through One Shot Wednesday! What a lovely poem! It's really beautiful. One small issue I had was the word 'stiletto'. It seems at odds with the rest of the more natural images. I actually think maybe using a contrasting color (like silver or copper) to compare with the branches, leaves and shoots.
The short end lines are very strong and effective, especially in contrast to the longer preceding stanzas.
Nice write, Glynn!
Awesome thoughts...
destined wanderings
I was feeling like David--give me a machete! But yes, your gentle answer is much more satisfying.
Fantastic structure of words used in this. I really love the ending that continues to get beyond...and not end. Wonderful writing! ~April
I really loved the image of the poem, but most the ending and how much it will stay with me...thank you:)
still-calm fervor!
Vivid visual pokes n' prods, with an intriguing shift between the second and third stanzas. Good work.
amazing !! forgot to comment last time i read this .. truly wonderful write
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