Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Umbrella conversation
Our conversation floats
under a yellow umbrella,
words rising in a mild wind.
July hot, and light warm sweat
traces our backs, chests, temples.
Your hand moves away.
We talk in slight murmurs,
soft tones; I watch droplets
slide down our glasses
in iced condensation.
You look away and ask,
when will it turn cool.
This poem is submitted for One Shot Wednesday hosted by One Stop Poetry. To see more submitted poems, please visit the site. The links will be live at 4 p.m. Central time today.
Photograph: Straw Umbrella on Beach by Petr Kratochvil via Public Domain Pictures. Used with permission.
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27 comments:
I feel like I just spied on the most intimate of moments between two lovers.
You well-convey the double meaning in this.
Sometimes the most powerful lines are the ones that are not written. Loved this, Glynn.
Steady on there, Glynn. You'll soon be attracting a whole new readership!
(And, by the way, very elegantly written...)
in iced condensation
i love that line...
i don't know why exactly, i just do.
but, i just realized i am feeling thirsty.
So many great sensory details that I was right there. Nicely done!
God bless you.
Double meanings...nice write !
haha when it's cold we want hot and hot we want cold, never happy are we? Fun write!
oo la la...me like glynn...and yes a double meaning perhaps well played...smiles.
♥
You've truly captured the heated moment.
Beautifully captured moment. So many subtle details well described!
Great capture of a moment ~
a hot poem indeed... love the metaphor usage.
Hopefully it never cools :)
Intimate or not, I yearn for that cool! And a frosty drink would hit the spot right now. Well done! Condensed metaphor and imagery.
Gay
Elegantly written!
A beautiful portrait Glynn. You paint masterpieces with your words.
So many observations and ideas neatly folded into a desceptively small package, Glynn. It felt like a piece of intimate fiction, but with a poet's touch. Really like this.
Thank you for the gorgeous imagery.
comments given in body English and cold glasses
love the punch at the end, that way you leave us wondering...
Oh wow - the dichotomy between the physical and emotional aspects of this scene are wonderful. "When will it turn cold." That line gives me the chills.
Cyn
very visually charged words.
A lovely drink of a poem, slice of lemon for tang, and ice just melting :)
A beautiful tinge of romance :) Lovely read.
My One Shot ~ A Poetic World
Ahh!!! I enjoyed the image that you have created and looks that thing were quite hot there...;-)
Shashi
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/07/whispers-cuckoos-song-and-smell-of-love.html
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