Again I sit in ashes cold and deep,
my heart pierced by his voice, his touch, his eyes,
the gown and shoes I barely miss, yet weep;
ash-smudged, I fear his love will ebb and die.
But dare I hope a seed can grow to reap,
my heart to heal and hope allowed to rise;
may thunder drown my stepsisters’ bold lies,
and may he take me home and there to keep.
She walked into the room a stellar sight.
In fleeting hours she smiled, my heart was bound;
a glow, a radiance lit up my night.
She fled my arms, at twelve the clock did sound,
glass shoe abandoned in her pell-mell flight.
I will not rest until my love is found.
OK, so there’s this sonnet thing L.L. Barkat dreamed up over at TweetSpeak poetry, and she cajoled poet Angela O’Donnell to do a post called “Glass Slipper Sonnets” (you should read Angela’s Saint Sinatra and Other Poems; it’s good). I tried the sestina form of poetry, and survived the experience. I thought I’d give the sonnet form a try.
As it turns out, there are two main sonnet forms – the Shakespearian (English) sonnet (three four-line stanzas followed by a couplet) and the Petrachan (Italian) sonnet, with an eight-line stanza and a six-line stanza (Angela has all the details in her post). I decided to try the Italian form.
And, yes, it’s all about Cinderella.
Photograph: Cinderella by Alexandra Lilit.
11 comments:
What a lovely form...so lyrical and flowing to read.
I like that you wrote this from her perspective, then to his...
Happy day ~
It takes a brave man to venture into Italian poetic form.
Well done! Cinderella would have been pleased.
You did a great job! :) It's very lyrical, like the traditional sonnet. A good fit for a traditional tale :)
Great first try, Glynn!
Thanks, Glynn, for this lovely take on (and skillful retelling) of the tale. How satisfying to hear the voice of the Prince (strong, silent type that he usually is) at last!
Also, your wonderful alteration of the male and female voices reminds me of that great, great Italian sonnet by John Crowe Ransom, PIAZZA PIECE.
In the octave, Death takes on the voice of a suitor trying to woo a young woman. Fortunately, in the sestet, she manages to scare him off--at least for the moment.
Here's the poem, below, in case you'd like to read it.
Cheers & Thanks, Angela
PIAZZA PIECE by John Crowe Ransom
-- I am a gentleman in a dustcoat trying
To make you hear. Your ears are soft and small
And listen to an old man not at all,
They want the young men's whispering and sighing.
But see the roses on your trellis dying
And hear the spectral singing of the moon;
For I must have my lovely lady soon,
I am a gentleman in a dustcoat trying.
-- I am a lady young in beauty waiting
Until my truelove comes, and then we kiss.
But what grey man among the vines is this
Whose words are dry and faint as in a dream?
Back from my trellis, Sir, before I scream !
I am a lady young in beauty waiting.
hahaha I love it! How fun. There's so many cool things to do in poetry.
Ok here's my try-
Last night I was beautiful.
I swirled on the dance floor in the arms of the Prince.
The food, the gowns everywhere.
The music, his eyes, a true experience?
I got scared and ran away.
All I have is a slipper now.
Tears fall down my cheeks, ash on my brow, I push the coals.
I hear the sound of my sister's taunting souls.
A knock, at the door, but how?
I crack it open to see, it's him!
I'm ugly so unworthy!
His shoe slides between the crack,
I look down, he can not see me!
A finger slides under my chin,
I must look up and see.
He smiles tenderly from within.
The Prince has come for me!
That's fun! Thanks!
I will not rest until my love is found. Sigh . . .
I like how you do this sonnet thing.
Reminds me of SofS ... well done!
cinders
ashes
dust
not tonight
for dance
she must
I think this is lovely Glynn. I really enjoyed it. Well done :)
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