The
most difficult writing assignment I’ve ever had occurred this year.
At
the request of the family, I wrote my mother’s obituary.
I
wrote it before she died. I edited the final details after her death.
Angelo
Alaimo O’Donnell was asked to do the same for her mother.
In
the last 48 days of her mother’s life, O’Donnell and her sisters gathered round
their mother, Marion Salvi Alaimo. She had fallen and smashed her hip; whether
she could survive the surgery required to repair it was questionable.
The
gathering, as O’Donnell describes in Mortal Blessings: A Sacramental Farewell, becomes a kind
of sacrament, just one of the many sacraments the family leads, participates
in, and becomes part of in their mother’s final days. Sacraments, even those
related to the death of an individual, gain their meaning in their communal
celebration.
And
while sacraments are an intrinsic part in the family’s Catholic faith,
O’Donnell comes to understand that sacraments are not confined to officially
defined ceremonies of the church. Sacraments can be found among the most
commonplace of acts, events, and emotions.
 |
| Marion Salvi Alaimo |
The
sacrament of a haircut and manicure.
The
sacraments of the cell phone and the wheelchair.
The
sacraments of humor, honor and witness.
The
sacraments of speech and memory.
The
sacrament of distance.
 |
| Angela Alaimo O'Donnell |
As
a loved one is dying, the simplest of acts become sacraments, not only for the
one dying but for the ones participating as well. Sacraments are communal acts,
conferring meaning too all involved.
O’Donnell
does not tell an idealized story. Dying and death sharpens and unveils,
particularly if it occurs over a period of time. No life lived is perfect;
O’Donnell doesn’t gloss over her mother’s failings, or her own. Mortal Blessings is not a memoir about
her mother; it is a telling of the last days of a life, and what happens, what
sacraments happen, when a family is drawn together around a dying person.
The
writing of a book like Mortal Blessings
is a sacrament, too.
Tomorrow,
I’ll have the first of two personal meditations on Mortal Blessings.
Related:
My review of
O’Donnell’s Saint Sinatra: Poems at Tweetspeak
Poetry.
Photograph of the Church of the Mount of the Beatitudes by Betty Krausova via Public
Domain Pictures. Used with permission.
1 comment:
This is a wonderful book and I'm pleased to see you review it, Glynn.
Post a Comment